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"I really respected him. I will miss him. I considered him a friend and a gentleman," said Alexandra W. Turner, chairman of the board.
"I served with him on the Board of Selectmen for three years, and he was an outstanding contributor and an outstanding gentleman as well," said John M. Bailey, who was a selectman from 1992 to 1998. "He always listened intently to both sides of every issue in order to make the proper decision and the proper contribution to any issue."
Town historian Phyllis A. Farnsworth noted that Mr. Dexter was a descendant on his mother's side of the Rev. Nathaniel Thayer, who moved to Lancaster in 1793, shortly after graduating from theological school, to serve as minister of the church now known as the First Church of Christ Unitarian.
In an interview with the Sentinel & Enterprise in 1995, Mr. Dexter said he and his cousin, Priscilla S. Thayer, were the last of the Thayer descendants living in Lancaster.
Rev. Thayer and his descendants established a vigorous tradition of community service and philanthropy in the town and to Harvard University. In the 19th century, the minister's descendants built the family's fortune in the world of finance through a Boston banking firm they founded.
In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, members of the Thayer family built five large mansions in the town. Two of these were later purchased by Atlantic Union College and were instrumental in the growth of the school. The Thayer Bird Museum, established by John Eliot Thayer in 1904, was also purchased by the college and is now the Bartlett Art Gallery.
In 1908, the Thayer family had the present Town Hall constructed as a gift to the town, Farnsworth said.
In 1866, Nathaniel Thayer II gave the Lancaster public library a $5,000 endowment to purchase books, and in 1867 the Thayer family donated generously to build a new Lancaster town library as a Civil War memorial. Since then, successive generations of Thayers have contributed to the library and served on its board of trustees.
Flags at the town library, as well as the nearby Town Hall, flew at half-staff Monday.
Mr. Dexter's mother, Constance V.R. Thayer Dexter, gave money for the rare book room and served as a library trustee from 1928 to 1957, and as chairman of the trustees from 1957 to 1976.
Mr. Dexter carried on the family tradition, serving as trustee from 1987 to 1989 and as chairman of the trustees from 1989 to 1996.
"It has been an honor for all of us to have known him, to have worked with him as a library trustee, and in doing so to have witnessed his absolute and selfless dedication to Lancaster, the home of his forefathers," Sue A. Hoadley, library director, said Monday in a written statement. "He gave far more to the town - especially the town library - than most of its citizens will ever realize. His loss will be deeply felt for many years to come."
In addition to his library service, Mr. Dexter served many years on the Zoning Board of Appeals and 23 years on the Planning Board. He was also a founding member of the Montachusett Regional Planning Commission, from which he retired in 1995 after 26 years of service.
Like several of his Thayer ancestors, he served on the Board of Selectmen and was elected to his second three-year term in May. His father, William Dexter, served as selectman from 1938 to 1941.
He was town moderator for many years and presided over town meeting.
"Nat was such an invaluable asset to the community in terms of leadership," said Alan L. Agnelli, town administrator.
Agnelli said he worked with Nathaniel Dexter since Mr. Dexter was first elected a selectman.
"He was such an institution. A great part of Lancaster died this morning when he passed away," Agnelli said Monday. "He engendered such respect. He was such an honorable man. To me personally he was a confidant and friend."
Agnelli said Dexter was "Mr. Lancaster," and in addition to his public service, generously and "very quietly" donated to town philanthropies.
State Rep. Patricia A. Walrath, D-Stow, whose district includes Lancaster, said Mr. Dexter "held the town of Lancaster in highest regard. He was a great advocate for the library."
As a lawyer who practiced in Boston, he was able to keep a close watch on what was happening at the State House and testified recently before a legislative committee on a bill that would have benefited Lancaster, Walrath said.
"He was very interested in preserving Lancaster's cultural heritage and the Thayer properties," Walrath said.
Farnsworth said she never served on any town boards with Mr. Dexter. She spoke for many town residents, however, when she said, "He will certainly be missed. He was like a fixture for us to look to."
Dexter is one of the last of the Lancaster Thayers, a family that helped build the town, figuratively and literally. He carried on the family tradition of fellowship and service in his quiet, steady manner. And despite his aristocratic bearing, he came across as genuine, never overbearing or belittling.
Not everyone always agreed with him, but no one did not appreciate his sincerity. He was universally liked and respected. You cannot say that about many people.
While serving his community -- on the Planning Board, Library Board of Trustees or Board of Selectmen -- Dexter was always working for the interests of the town and its individual residents.
Dexter was a very private person, but when he was needed, he was there. When the library needed him, he opened his cherished garden to the public for a fund-raising tour. And while he preferred quiet leadership, he knew when to assert himself, such as when he spoke out against giving the so-called Almshouse Register back to a resident, asserting firmly that no one could force him to do anything illegal.
Much of his financial support to the town was done quietly, behind the scenes, often anonymously. When the Police Department needed an unmarked cruiser, they got it. It was donated anonymously, but everyone knew where the gift came from.
He was a man of charm, strength, character and humor. He was an example of what a good citizen should be. He will be missed.
He graduated from the Brooks School in North Andover, from Harvard College in Cambridge in 1950, and from Harvard University School of Law in 1954.
Mr. Dexter was a lawyer with the Boston law firm of Choate, Hall & Stewart for more than 40 years.
He had served on the Board of Selectman since 1996. He was previously the town moderator for seven years.
Mr. Dexter was a trustee of the Lancaster Town Library for nine years and was a major benefactor of the library and several other town projects.
He served 23 years on the Lancaster Planning Board and was a founding member of the Montachusett Regional Planning Commission, where he served for 26 years.
He was an alternate member of the Zoning Board of Appeals.
Mr. Dexter was an enthusiastic fisherman, golfer and gardener and won many awards for his camellias.
He leaves a brother, Philip Dexter of St. Louis; two sisters, Constance V.R. White of Boston and Mary Ann Streeter of Wenham; nephews and nieces.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to First Church of Christ, Unitarian, Heritage Fund, Main Street on the Common, Lancaster 01523.
J.S. Waterman & Sons Funeral Home, 495 Commonwealth Ave., Boston, is in charge of arrangements, which are incomplete.
The funeral will be Friday at 11 a.m. in First Church of Christ, Unitarian, Main Street on the Common. Burial will be private.
There are no calling hours.